I'm a forward moving force.

My trainer told me it was time to be serious this week and drop some pounds.  I haven't done that in a month.  I have told him it is not his fault.  It is my eating and my lack of motivation on a minute to minute basis.  I have overall motivation but when I am busy in whatever it is I am doing and I get hungry it sometimes gets lost and I grab something easy or "snack" worthy in my junk food mind!  My weight is connected to my food intake.  I workout and run and burn calories daily.  My metabolism is slow as a slug though and I make poor food choices.  I don't eat a ton, but my choices could be better.  I also need to drink more water.  I have not disappeared though.  I may be fickle about certain things (like starting and stopping my blog), but I continually do my workouts.  

I want my workouts to be more powerful though.  We all sometimes just slug through our workouts.  Get it done but at a 70% level instead of a 100%.  I want more 100% days.  I think I have found what I am allergic too as well.  Last month I went through two rounds of steroids because my skin was broken out.  Well last week I was without my buspar for four days.  I ran out Thanksgiving and my doctor wasn't in until that next Monday.  When I got it and took on Tuesday I broke out immediately again.  So I took until Friday and have stopped.  This is not good because I really love my buspar.  It really helps my anxiety levels a lot.  So I have to pray about talking with my doctor about trying something else or not.  I remember how drastic of a change I felt when I started it.  I also remember how I packed on 15 pounds over night.  I was in a different place when I started it and I needed it badly.  I may not be there any longer, but I am sure that more stressors will come.  They are around every single corner.  It is always a fine line to teeter on how much you hand over to faith and allow for God and yourself to handle and grow versus what you take something for.  I will pray on it.

Today I ran 3 minutes and skipped 3 minutes alternating for 30 minutes.

I did a lot of plank and core exercises.  

Weight 149

I did not do measurements in December because I am certain they were similar to my starting measurements in October.  

If some people think that I roller coaster on weight and ambition and motivation - good.  I think I am a real example of a real life.  We all go through periods where we struggle with whatever it is we are pushing for.  But I hope I also can show that even in the struggles, changes need to be life changes.  Not fad diets.  Not something temporary and full force.  But stable life long changes  in a positive direction.  And that is something I excel at.